Borrowing Benefits

If you have practiced EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for any length of time, you have surely heard the term, borrowing benefits.

Gary Craig accendently discovered this phenomena in one of his early EFT classes he was conducting.  While he was working with a participant on stage, class members tapped along with him and discovered their own issues where diminished or eliminated too.

This discovery is important because it allows us to benefit from being in a group where EFT is being used, almost like osmosis.  This is why I believe that mastermind groups that use EFT can take its members to greater heights of success and goal acheivement  than mastermind groups and goal setting without using it.


Imagine Easy(ier) Creativity

I like being creative. It is who I am.

Being true to your creative self and your craft can fill you with both exhilaration and misery. I used to paint things that were designed by non painters. It was an evil process.

"Make this item look like something I am imagining. Discern from my rambling description what greenish taupe looks like and no, I don't have time to pick out a paint sample. It's very similar to the one you did for me last year. I'm sure you will remember it once you get started. Can you have that by Wednesday? My client is having a party and I forgot until yesterday that I should have ordered this a month ago."

I, not being the boss, never got to stab the client with my steely knife or my pointy Windsor Newton. Being one of the "dime for a dozen artists" in my town, I knew that if I did as I really wanted to do, I'd serve jail time and three more talented artists would take my place, because everybody knows, there aren't that many jobs where you actually get to paint for a regular paycheck.

My diabolical boss was sure to let me know that someone had been by with their portfolio sniffing around for a gig, but seldom managed to pass along to me the accolades he received for work I'd done on his behalf.

So you see what I mean. Creativity can be a pain in the psyche, not to mention the ego. I always tried to use my creativity for good, but I had dreams of fashioning a voodoo doll for a number of clients and bosses returning the favor of being a pain in the ass. I don't want to not like people, so I never felt good about all the anger I was experiencing and it colored my creative process and not in an artistic way.

I'd like to tell you how I kept my sanity and sense of humor and my job. I starting using Emotional Freedom Technique to help me eliminate my bottled up rage at my situation and my fear of making an expensive mistake that could cause repercussions that I could do without.

EFT is a type of tapping that you do on certain points of your body, similar to acupuncture, only without the needles, while focused on the emotional upset or problem. The tapping process virtually eliminates the distress one feels before beginning the process.

I learned to tap when I knew I had an upcoming meeting with a difficult customer to relieve my agitation or my negative expectations of the outcome of the meeting. Meetings started to go smoother. If I had no opportunity to tap prior to the meeting, I would tap on all the negative emotions I wanted to dissipate and then I would be able to go on with my work instead of ruminating on my despair.

It seems odd that this simple routine can make such a big difference in the life of an artist or any person for that matter, but it can. Once I started using it in my creative life, my whole life got better. I use it almost every day even though I no longer work in the evil empire.

Emotional Freedom Technique is a tool every artist should have in her tool box. I want to share this tool because creativity is hard enough. Creativity should be joyful, not painfully difficult.

Imagine easier creativity; with EFT, it exists.

Commit To Create Challenge End of Hour 2

Hi Creative Friends,

Whoo Hoo. I can't wait for you to see the photos. I am going to finish up my art table and then post the before and after photos.

I am humbled by this experience. I can't tell you how high my resistance was to doing this work. On a scale of 1 to 10, it was pegging out at 10.

One might argue, "What does cleaning/organizing your art table have to do with creativity?"

Easy answer: Everything! When you see the before photos, ask yourself, "Is this a pleasant place I could spend some time being creative?" Heck no! This cluttered, messy desk is a physical block to me being more creative. My not wanting to address it is an emotional block to not being more creative.

This block ultimately prevents me from being fully self-expressed. I don't play, make, fiddle, doodle, or meander at my desk. I avoid, resist, procrastinate.

If you read my earlier post from today when I began, what presented itself was disgust, petulance, annoyance and a determination to get out of my commitment. Classic creative resistance.

When I listened to my Blockhead, it was painful to discover how hard I can be on myself for being human. Who do I think I am? That seems to be BH's default mantra.
Thankfully I have EFT to help me release these limiting beliefs.

I gotta run. I do feel energized and I want to finish my task. Can't wait until next Monday and see what gets done.

Here is the finished project: Yipee. You can click on the photo to enlarge.

Have a creative day!
Diana Meade

Commit To Create Challenge End of Hour 1

Hi Creative Friends,

It's 10:00 am central standard time

I am just going to do a quick check in.

I have had some good success with cleaning off my art table.

Here are a few blocks that I encountered along the way:

Even though I don't like throwing things away, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.

Even though I don't want to complete these petty little tasks like putting something exactly where it belongs, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.

Even though it feels like some things are more important in organizing, that my time is too valuable to put tidbits in containers, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.

Even though I don't like to follow through to completion, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.

Reminder phrases:

I've done enough already
You never finish what you start
You don't have enough room for all your crap
You keep bringing stuff in
You don't do anything with what you have
(HELLO, Blockhead!)
You just pretend you are an artist
You haven't done anything creative in months
You are such a looser

(Again, Blockhead thanks for sharing your opinions) (If a real person standing outside of yourself was saying this crap to you, wouldn't you tell them to hit the road? Well, we (you and I) can't ever get rid of Blockhead, but EFT helps turn down the volume on all these lies and poison.

More tapping to do.
And done.

Actually, I feel like going back to my art table. Yay. How did that happen?

Hugs, Diana

Commit To Create Challenge 11-09-09

Hi Creative Friends,

Wow, where did the weekend go? Here I am again for the Commit to Create Challenge.

Today I am a prime candidate for what this exercise is all about. Frankly, I'd rather do something else than what I had committed to myself to do. I could just lie to you guys and you'd never know. Grrr.

Here it is: I have to clean up the dreaded art table. It is a mess. There is no room to work. It has become a dumping ground for stuff that doesn't have a home yet. So here I am dreading it. Hating it. Wanting to go back to bed.

Do you blame me wanting to take a nap rather than facing this mess? Even the cat didn't hang around.

Practice what you preach, honey girl. What is my Blockhead telling me about this project that is influencing all this negativity. Here goes. Take it away Blockhead.

I should already have this done.
If I would put my things away when I finish a project, I wouldn't be in this predicament.

(Excuse me Blockhead, say what you really mean behind these statements.)

You are a lazy slob.
You never finish what you start.
You are so lucky to have a place to create and this is how you treat your space.
You ungrateful wench.
You will never get organized.
Who do you think you are?

Ok, Blockhead, thanks for sharing. I know I've stopped you smack in the middle of your creative flow, but time is running out here.

Well there you have it, boys and girls. Blockhead gets right to the chase with her last zinger, "Who do you think you are?"

If you just want to go clean off your art desk, how are you supposed to fight all this conscious or unconscious thought, feelings, and beliefs rattling around in your head? The line of bull that Blockhead puts out is an amazing tribute to negativity. No wonder, going back to bed is preferable.

Here is my EFT process to eliminate this block.

Even though I am a lazy slob and I will never be organized, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself. (set up phrase)

reminder phrases:

I hate cleaning up
I'll never be organized
I'm a lazy slob
My mother thought so
I never kept my room clean
There must be something wrong with me
You ungrateful girl
Who do you think you are
Why do I have to do this
Why doesn't someone else do this for me
I'll never get it done

Ok, I just tapped those statements out. And a new one popped up.

I feel punished when I have to clean

Even though, I feel like cleaning and organizing is punishment, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.

You're a bad girl
You are such a lousy housekeeper
If you cared, you would clean
You should be punished
Who do you think you are
I don't want to do it
Sloppiness is my rebellion
You can't make me do it and like it
I'm such a bad girl
I didn't do other bad things
I was really a goodie two shoes
I just kept my room messy to piss you off

Now, I'm getting it. I am mumble mumble years old and I am still trying to aggravate my mother by not cleaning my room.

I don't clean, organize, create a loving space for myself to work in because I am still fighting this fight with my mother. I was such a "good girl" in high school that my only rebellion was to exert some control over my life was to create bedlam in my bedroom. Clothes on the floor, loud music to annoy others, can't find the bed to sleep in; you have the idea.

Ok, it's time to do the thing I committed to do. I have some tapping to finish first, but I already feel more inclined to get busy. Odd? Coincidence?

See you in 45 minutes.


Letting Go of Resentments

Hi Creative Friends,

I have a friend coming over on Sunday so we can do some art making together. I am excited about the prospect.

My friend Audrey is a genius when it comes to quilting and machine embroidery. She makes beautiful baby quilts that any mother should be thrilled to keep as a treasured heirloom.

She cheerfully gives away these creations despite the hours spent, not to mention the cash she lays out for materials. I've noticed that I always wonder when we do "Show and Tell," if the recipient knows the value of the gift that he or she will receive.

The reason I bring this up is I have given the gift of creativity in the form of handmade items and I have some strong feelings about this issue and would love some feedback from you. Here is an example that was related to me by a woman I met at the Houston Quilt Festival. We were discussing this very topic of giving away our work and she told me this story.

She worked very hard to make all her grandchildren a quilt. To her, it was a legacy she wanted to give to each child as a remembrance of their grandmother's love. During a winter visit to her son's home, she noticed that there was something stuffed in the doggie door to keep the cold air from blowing through. It was one of her quilts that she had made for one of her grandchildren. The woman was devastated that her gift was not valued. I asked the woman what she did and she said, "I stopped making quilts to give away." She was still bitter, years later.

This painful example brings up two contradictory ideas. One is to stop creating for ungrateful recipients. The other is to keep on creating and gifting and let your creation make its way in the world on its own. Finding out that your crocheted tea caddy didn’t fit in with your daughter-in-law’s kitchen décor and landed in her garage sale is tough, but no reason to stop being creative or punish the daughter-in-law, ungrateful wench that she is.

It feels good to joyfully make things for others, but what if the person you made it for isn't as joyful about your creation as you expected her to be? You have several options:

• Be more selective about to whom you present your treasure.
• Ask your potential recipient if she is open to your gift. They have a right to say no to your beer can sculpture.
• Freely give your gift and let go of your expectations of how it should be received.
• Let it go. Don’t harbor resentments if you find out your gift has lived an unappreciated life. The resentments hurt you and harm your relationship with the receiver.
• Put the energy that you’d spend being hurt and resentful to make something new for yourself. You deserve it and you will give it the respect it so deserves.
• At risk of sounding like a broken record, remember to let it go.

If you need help with letting go of resentments, try these EFT statements. You decide what goes in the parenthesis.

The Setup: Tap the karate chop point while saying this statement three times.
Even though I have this resentment about (you say what about), and I really have no interest in letting it go because I am still (you say the feeling: angry, hurt, sad, bitter, grieving), I deeply and completely love and forgive myself for (you say what: giving that gift, loaning that money) that was not appreciated. Repeat this three times while tapping the karate chop point.

Use these reminder statements to tap on the rest of the points beginning at the top of the head:

TOH: This resentment
EB: I did all this work
SE: Nobody knows how much it takes
UE: I gave it my all
UN: And this is the thanks I get
UL: I don’t want to let it go
CB: Nobody cares how much I do
TOH I wish someone would do as much for me
EB: I still feel unappreciated (or whatever you feel)
SE: Why do I persist in being creative?
UE My work must not be very good
UL: I might quit, that would show ‘em
CB: This resentment

Try this EFT for your resentments as related to your own creativity and you will feel the difference a little tapping can make.

I hope you don’t use resentments to stop being creative. It is a huge block that used to take a lot of work to let go. Now with EFT, it is easy to let go of years of resentments in minutes.

Hugs, Diana
Have a creative day!

What Are You Afraid Of?

Hi Creative Friends,

In the spirit of Halloween and in the spirit of my announcement yesterday that I am going to be doing a scary poetry reading on Thursday, I am going to talk about how you can use EFT to eliminate a fear of performing.

Let's use this poetry reading as an example. BTW, today I asked myself over and over if I was nervous and myself said "No." Funny, I keep waiting for the fear to well up but it just hasn't. Yay! So the EFT tapping that I did on this topic long ago is still holding.

Let's say that you think your poem is good enough to read. You have shared it with some trusted people who have given you positive feedback, but the idea of reading it in front of strangers is so scary just the thought makes your hands sweat and your stomach fill with butterflies. (So now we have physical evidence that you are afraid.) You could start there and tap that away.

The next thing I do is start listening to the internal critic, I call Blockhead. My blockhead is always full of helpful information that needs EFT. Suppose your blockhead says something like this:

Who do you think you are?

You'll just make a fool of yourself.

You don't know what you're doing

You're not a real poet.

I am afraid of being seen and heard.

You write out these negative beliefs with your version of what your Blockhead is saying in your head. Now you turn these into EFT statements and tap away the blocks to enjoying the experience of sharing your work and yourself with the world.

Even though my head says, "Who do I think I am," I love and accept myself.
Even though I'll just make a fool of myself, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I don't really know what I'm doing, I love and accept myself.
Even though, I am not a real poet, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I was always told I should be seen not heard and I am afraid of doing both, I love and accept myself anyway.

There are many more possibilities. Capturing what your blockhead is saying to you and tapping it away is a great way to get down and dirty with these outdated beliefs that are holding you back.

I hope this triggers ideas for you. If you used this material, will you share the outcome with me? How much do you listen to your blockhead?

Have a creative day!