Commit To Create Challenge 11-09-09

Hi Creative Friends,

Wow, where did the weekend go? Here I am again for the Commit to Create Challenge.

Today I am a prime candidate for what this exercise is all about. Frankly, I'd rather do something else than what I had committed to myself to do. I could just lie to you guys and you'd never know. Grrr.

Here it is: I have to clean up the dreaded art table. It is a mess. There is no room to work. It has become a dumping ground for stuff that doesn't have a home yet. So here I am dreading it. Hating it. Wanting to go back to bed.

Do you blame me wanting to take a nap rather than facing this mess? Even the cat didn't hang around.

Practice what you preach, honey girl. What is my Blockhead telling me about this project that is influencing all this negativity. Here goes. Take it away Blockhead.

I should already have this done.
If I would put my things away when I finish a project, I wouldn't be in this predicament.

(Excuse me Blockhead, say what you really mean behind these statements.)

You are a lazy slob.
You never finish what you start.
You are so lucky to have a place to create and this is how you treat your space.
You ungrateful wench.
You will never get organized.
Who do you think you are?

Ok, Blockhead, thanks for sharing. I know I've stopped you smack in the middle of your creative flow, but time is running out here.

Well there you have it, boys and girls. Blockhead gets right to the chase with her last zinger, "Who do you think you are?"

If you just want to go clean off your art desk, how are you supposed to fight all this conscious or unconscious thought, feelings, and beliefs rattling around in your head? The line of bull that Blockhead puts out is an amazing tribute to negativity. No wonder, going back to bed is preferable.

Here is my EFT process to eliminate this block.

Even though I am a lazy slob and I will never be organized, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself. (set up phrase)

reminder phrases:

I hate cleaning up
I'll never be organized
I'm a lazy slob
My mother thought so
I never kept my room clean
There must be something wrong with me
You ungrateful girl
Who do you think you are
Why do I have to do this
Why doesn't someone else do this for me
I'll never get it done

Ok, I just tapped those statements out. And a new one popped up.

I feel punished when I have to clean

Even though, I feel like cleaning and organizing is punishment, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.

You're a bad girl
You are such a lousy housekeeper
If you cared, you would clean
You should be punished
Who do you think you are
I don't want to do it
Sloppiness is my rebellion
You can't make me do it and like it
I'm such a bad girl
I didn't do other bad things
I was really a goodie two shoes
I just kept my room messy to piss you off

Now, I'm getting it. I am mumble mumble years old and I am still trying to aggravate my mother by not cleaning my room.

I don't clean, organize, create a loving space for myself to work in because I am still fighting this fight with my mother. I was such a "good girl" in high school that my only rebellion was to exert some control over my life was to create bedlam in my bedroom. Clothes on the floor, loud music to annoy others, can't find the bed to sleep in; you have the idea.

Ok, it's time to do the thing I committed to do. I have some tapping to finish first, but I already feel more inclined to get busy. Odd? Coincidence?

See you in 45 minutes.