If I’m talking about the “wearing white” controversy, it must be Labor Day. If I am wearing white, it must be to keep from going naked. I started out this day looking like the cleaner, much more attractive, younger sister of the new creepy looking Mr. Clean who has recently shown up on Mr. Clean television commercials. Evidently, Mr. Clean doesn’t believe in the wearing white rule.
For you poor uniformed innocents who take your fashion cues from Project Runway or Lady GaGa, there used to be a fashion rule going around that you COULDN’T, SHOULDN’T, DARE NOT wear white after Labor Day. What Estee Lauder really said was that "it just isn’t done," to wear white shoes after Labor Day, but we make our own rules now, don’t we?
Since it is hot enough outside to cook your biscuits, wearing white has not only a psychological advantage but there is a claim that white helps you stay cooler. There must be something to it because you see all those guys wearing white bed sheets in the Middle East. I think they wear them so they can stand over the air conditioner vents in their mobile homes or hog all the cool air in the Range Rovers up close and personal.
When I wear white, I turn into a dirt and paint magnet. I put on white in the morning and by the time I pull it off in the evening my white is so filthy even Mr. Clean would wash his hands of me. I could change clothes but on Labor Day, I'm usually too lazy.
Speaking of lazy:
I am pretty sure Labor Not on Labor Day is one of the Missing Commandments that Moses neglected to bring down from the mountain top. Moses was a control freak and considered his followers to be lazy; (after all they wondered around in the desert for forty years) therefore, he forgot to mention some of the other commandments like:
- Thou shall daily enjoy the life I have given you.
- Rejoice when you have a good hair day.
- Paint every day if you can.
- Laughter is the best medicine; laugh at your mistakes.
- Don’t wear white shoes after Labor Day unless you really want to.
You know, ones like that.
Hope you have a great Labor Day and the air vents are all pointed your way.